October « 2008 « Bad Mummy! No Cookie!

Archive for October, 2008

Life Lesson #2: Learn to be Lonely

Posted in lesson learned, more happy pills please on 10.30.2008 | 2 Comments »

This has been the hardest lesson for me: learning to be alone. This is the first time in my life that I’ve lived – for the most part – alone. Whether roommates or fiancé-turned-husband, there’s been someone to talk to, to make plans with, to fight over the TV with. These days I’m spending every [...]

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Realistic Fatalism

Posted in more happy pills please on 10.29.2008 | 1 Comment »

The Nice Doctor made point about getting back up to a level that is good and pleasing. I responded that perhaps, really, this is my new normal. Apparently this frame of mind is fatalistic. I claim realism, but who am I to say, really. Just the patient who is losing patience. Two-thirds of my life [...]

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Been There. Done That?

Posted in dating, lesson learned, sex on 10.27.2008 | 5 Comments »

There was a date yesterday. I almost didn’t go. In fact, I would have cancelled if I’d known his phone number. I joked later that that was all part of his plan. I went with plans to sit for an hour, drink some coffee and go about the rest of my day. In typical Bad [...]

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Weeeee! To Infinity!

Posted in more happy pills please on 10.27.2008 | Leave a Comment »

I love Concerta. Concerta. Concerta. Concerta. Hey! I’m Concerta-ing!

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Steps Forward, Trying Not to Look Back

Posted in dating, lesson learned, more happy pills please, work on 10.23.2008 | 1 Comment »

An exorcism of sorts. A realization that anyone worth it would not be so cold-hearted. Tho I could use a good friend these days. As of this morning, I am on Ritalin/Concerta. The shrink’s attempt at improving my concentration and focus. Which is good, because the boss is threatening that he and my supervisor can [...]

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I Matter

Posted in The Mook, more happy pills please, solo parenting on 10.22.2008 | Leave a Comment »

I matter. I suppose so. Perhaps if I put it in type and put it out there on the interwebs, I might be able to convince myself. I’ve been told to take care of myself. By some. Not all. Take care. You cannot take care of others if you are not taking the time to [...]

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No More Weddings

Posted in divorce, lesson learned on 10.20.2008 | 1 Comment »

I can’t do weddings anymore. I can’t sit (or stand) and listen to the commitment of a couple to be together until death when there is no possible way of knowing what the relationship will bring. The Former Mister said something recently about me only having one foot in our marriage. It’s true. I was [...]

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Retrieved the Towel. Got a New Horse

Posted in dating, into the void, more happy pills please on 10.16.2008 | Leave a Comment »

Apparently I’m not ready yet. I need a sure sign from him that there is nothing to be had. Not friendship nor a relationship of any degree. My e-mail from October 10th: So Sun’s texting convo filled me with a wee bit of hope. Maybe you’re embarrassed and confused and baffled still.Maybe you’re working crazy [...]

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Life Lesson #1: Life is Not a Ro-Co

Posted in dating, divorce, lesson learned, solo parenting on 10.16.2008 | Leave a Comment »

It came to me the other day, while watching Run Fat Boy, Run. About 1/3 of the way in, I started waiting for it. The happy ending. The inevitable happy ending. Mind you, in this case, it didn’t wrap up entirely during the flick, but the hints were there. I’ve had moments in the last [...]

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